Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Just Say No

So, I was in town yesterday and saw one of the most horrific things in the world. ...which is saying a whole lot since I live in Mississippi.

Standing in front of me in line was this kid in the skinniest jeans ever known to man. Super tight at the legs, and some weird shape in the ass. I can't even say it was baggy. It was like someone fluffed it up and then repeatedly punched it with ghey.

 At first, I thought it was a girl with a short haircut but when he turned around to ask what his date wanted, my eyes got really big when I realized that the "she" was in actuality a "he".

Why the hell can't men/boys just wear regular jeans? You know, the kind that make men look like men and not like some lesbian waitress like Tobey Maguire in Spiderman 3?

There's no need to wear jeans so baggy that I can see your undies. There is no need to wear jeans so tight that I can hear your poor bubbles screaming from across the state line. And certainly, there is no need to ever ever ever wear jeans that are pink, red, turquoise, yellow, green, teal, purple, or orange. 

Rule of thumb : Men, if it looks like you borrowed jeans from your sister who's in junior high, don't dewwww eeeeet! Abort! Abort!

Run Forrest, Run!

Cat dander. Pollen. Exercise. I seem to be allergic to all three.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I haven't tried exercising. It's just that after a few minutes on the treadmill or Elliptical, I can't help but be overwhelmed with boredom. I mean, why am I running?! If some psycho was chasing me, sure, I'd at least break a sweat before I gave up. But running in place? It seems pointless.