I Am Legend

My dogs wink at me sometimes, and I always wink back. You know, in case it's a code or something.

Side story : The moment when I saw someone wink with one eye, then the other, totally changed my life. I can't recall exactly how old I was, but I'm guessing I was maybe 5? 

I devoted several days to perfecting the double wink and when I did, I was so proud of myself and felt like I was invincible and could do anything.

I'm pretty sure it was not long after this that I accidentally bent a spoon for the first time.  It was at that point I may or may not have also believed that I quite possibly had super powers.

I was a silly kid with an incredible imagination that could not be contained and dreams that could not be restrained. It saddens me that I've lost so much of that optimism and youthful hope. I suppose that happens as we get older. Truth be told, I feel rather defeated and tired so many days and it would be so nice to re-capture that feeling of invincibility, if only for a moment.

You're One of Us!

For about ten years, I wore this gold cross around my neck. It was on a really thin and delicate gold chain & the upside down T itself was small, so it was actually very simple yet pretty. It had originally belonged to my paternal grandmother and when she passed, I started wearing it. I guess it was my way of trying to keep a part of her with me at all times.

I never took it off and just knew that it was going to get caught in my hair during a shower and get lost, but it never did. My mom would tell me that I didn't need to worry because God would take care of it ...

I grew up. I eventually stopped wearing the necklace. I stopped believing the lies. 

It used to be that when I was a child and met someone who also was sporting a cross/crucifix, I would feel comfort. It was like "Hey, you're ok. We belong to the same club!"

When I see someone nowadays with a cross around their neck, what I hear in my head is "Proceed with caution."

There is no animosity. Yet, there also is no comfort.

Karma's a Bitch

Whatever you're going through, I can guarantee you that someone you know is dealing with worse circumstances. And however shitty your day might be today, something even shittier may be awaiting you tomorrow because karma does not exist and things do not happen for a reason. 

Stating that things that happen to you is all part of some purposeful master plan (the details of which you don’t profess to understand) doesn’t make you look wise and self-aware. It makes you look self-indulgent and ridiculous.

If you are a nice person and try to show kindness to your fellow man and they sometimes reciprocate, this is not the universe paying you back and it certainly is not karma. It's just being a decent human being. No matter how many good deeds you do in your life, children will be raped, innocents will be slaughtered, and debilitating diseases will strike down those least deserving.

I'm not perfect but it's ok, because neither are you. We're all just doing the best we can so let's just cut each other some slack, why doncha?

The Holiday Season

When I used to celebrate Christmas, the day after Halloween was the day I would break out the tree and start decorating. As a child, some of my fondest holiday memories were of sitting under the tree and getting lost in the twinkling lights and the softly playing Christmas music.

My parents had this vintage "Swedish-Pattern" angel candle chimes set made of tin that revolved when the lit, and I would love to sit there on the floor with my chin on the table and just watch it slowly spin.

Most people nowadays are so focused on gadgets, gifts, and doing things for appearance's sake and it's no wonder that the holidays have become a time of dread.

I know some folks greatly dislike all the lovely smells, decorations, and music of the holiday season, but I've always found it all to be really beautiful. And there really is too much ugly in the world for me not to appreciate the little pretty that shows itself for a few months. I really do love this time of year.